Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Lucas' trip & New Year's Eve

I survived (so far...)! :o)

Yesterday morning Rodrigo arrived around 10am due to the rain to take Lucas(it's been raining cats and dogs every afternoon, incredible storms that I recorded with my camera for later post, beautiful). He came with a taxi driver we know, and brought my pre-historic computer, my witchy books (how I missed Starhawk and Louis Bourne!), my non-wotchy books (my Stephen Kings!!), baby Lucas' photo albums (I went through tehm all with my mom and my brother!), some of my favorite decorative stuff like Turtle's beautiful candle holders. Lucas was so excited to see his dad after four months! Rodrigo was very nice with all of us, and very emotional when hold Lucas again in his arms. He had his hair cut, which makes him look younger and healthier. He treated me very kindly, the opposite of the last months we were together. This is good, maybe he's learning his lesson well for his future relationships.

My little witch showed him all his brand-new toys Santa brought, and also the fishes. It was funny to watch him so excited!

Everything was okay. They left half-an-hour later, Lucas on the back seat playing with his Ben 10 game. I made a little felt doll with lots of protective signs on its body and my perfume to carry on his bag, just by chance... My heart was so heavy and small after he left, but I know this is part of the process, we need to share, I need to let go, and so on.

I had to go downtown for some errands, and this way my mind could get used a little bit to his absence. But OF COURSE, a migraine exploded, NOT for my surprise... When I got home I took my Ormigren and rested for a couple of hours until it was gone. It was when I got up to the silence in the house, that struck me, and I cried a river at the kitchen, missing my little boy so much. After that, I felt better, and breathed again more easily, and I could called them to see if the trip was alright. Lucas talked to me all happy and said he loves me. Sweet!

Today I'm really feeling better. It's incredible how weird it is not to listen to his voice, his laughing, not to take care of him. It's like losing an arm. Thank the gods is only for one month. Seems like that's how things must be so I can once again grow up and mature, since nothing happens by chance. All I do is to think that he will be fine, they will take good care of him, he will have lots of fun, and by the end of January, he will be back, full of fun stories about his "rural adventures".

People, thank you so, so much for your awesome words, you can't imagine how wonderful it was to me to read them all, how they made me feel better. My family is here with me with all their support, of course, they're amazing, but my friends' support is equally important and vital to me, this dramatic Brazilian mom. And Boho, thank you so much for the spell, I started it last night, and it made me feel good having something witchy to do everyday, I'll keep it to the end.

Tonight I'm going with my mother to Araruama, a beach town (or better, a lagoon town), to spend the New year's holidays at her cousins' house. A lovely couple that I do love since I was a little girl. It will be great to be there, sunbathing until getting really tanned, and relaxing at a beautiful place. I wasn't feeling like going, but last night I decided it would be better to go than staying at home with nothing to do. At least there I can relax by the pool, take long walks by the lagoon, and enjoying their company. Time will pass faster this way. I'll be back around January 4th or 5th. As there's no Internet at the place (but there are cyber cafes, maybe I'll be offline, for your relief! :o)

I wish everybody a wonderful end of the year, wishing you all the best energy you all wished for me and Lucas. You're all in my heart, and I do hope we can keep our friendship next year. Kisses and love from me to you.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Protection & Good Vibes Chain for Lucas

It's almost 11pm, and Rodrigo just called to say that he'll be here tomorrow morning, around 9am, to take Lucas to spend the January vacations with him in Minas. It's a seven-hour car trip. Do I need to say how stressed and how small my heart is right now? I know this is absolutely natural, it will be a good experience for both of us, etc, etc, etc, but it's the first time i'm away from him since he was born, and I'm scared to death to leave him for one whole month with his dad and his family. Oh well, I do need to get used to it, I know. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, only good thoughts, avoiding all the crazy, negative fantasies my mind is trying to trick me about it.

I ask - better, I beg, all my witchy friends (and obviously my non-witchy friends as well), to send your best thoughts, positive vibes to Lucas. Do whatever you think it's best, light a candle, make a protection ritual/spell, say a little prayer. I do ask you to join me to surround him with a protective, positive armour, so he can fully enjoy his vacations, and be back safe and sound in due time. Thank you so much.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Last waxing Moon & Cookies

Lucas just took this photo of the Waxing Moon. How beautiful is it? :o)

He's all excited because tomorrow night Santa Claus will come home bringing his Christmas gifts (thanks to Etsy sales, I could buy exactly what I know he wants! Cool!). Christmas is celebrated here as a family event, when all my brothers and sister plus respective families come to mom's house to enjoy each other's company, and enjoy mom's yummy holiday dinner. Lots of talking, laughing and eating...

Each member of the family brings something to help dinner, and my contribution this year is the now a tradition and adored at home, Suzie's Cookies! I had to make a huge batch so no one can complain about eating less!

I hope everybody have a beautiful night tomorrow, see you later! :o)

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A sweet Litha

We ended up having a sweet Litha day. The morning was sunny and warm, so bright it hurt our eyes! As I promised Lucas, we had our breakfast outdoor, right in front the door. He chose the "menu", strawberry juice, wheat cookies, apple, pear, and bread with butter! I put a cloth over the stone bench, spread cushions on the ground, and there we took our meal, talking about the day. He loved it!

After breakfast, he wanted to make his Greenman mask. I made a background with paper, and he gathered lots of leaves, and made everything by himself, the way he wanted it. It ended up this way (nothing to do with the original mask! LOL But he loved it so much, and got so proud! :o)):

He spent all day wearing the mask when someone arrived, my sister, my brother, mom... LOL Had a blast!

This is Lucas' nest, already with our honey & milk offerings. Too cute!:

In the evening we went to a bar with my family just to enjoy the first warm, cool Summer, and before sleep, we had our little ritual, burning some lavender dried flowers in the cauldron and spreading salt around for protection.
It was the best way to get over the scaring anxiety crisis I had the previous night!

I hope you all had a beautiful Yule time! I can't believe 2009 is almost over!

Anxiety crisis...

I swear this my last whining post! But something so unusual happened to me two nights ago that I have to vent. I spent all day feeling weird, my head so heavy behind my eyes, a little dizzy... I went to sleep with a light headache. Around 2am, after having a stupid nightmare with Lucas' ex-teacher, I woke up with my heart beating in my throat, you know the sensation? Super-fast and still that heaviness in my head. I felt an anguish inside. Then I started to rationalize it, and obviously found out: Lucas' vacation time with his dad and family is getting closer (Rodrigo will pick him up around 26th), and I was so worried about it, knowing, unfortunately, how mean peope are and the battery of questions and bad-mouthing my son will have to face there, I was constantly with bad, negative thoughts, even without wanting. My conscious side knows it's okay to worry, it's my first time away from him, etc, etc, etc. But my unconscious side was tricking me in a very deep way and I wasn't noticing it properly.

When it was almost 4am, I got up, and woke up my brother Evaldo. I had to, didn't want to be alone in that anxiety/panic crisis. Enough to say that my sweet, wonderful brother stayed with me, talking about what was distressing me until I calmed down again, and even made some do-in (he's great with it) to relax me. He had never seen me like that (neither had I myself!), so he stand by me all the time.

I could finally relax enough to be alone to sleep one hour later, and I decided to totally bloc every single negative thouhgt that come to my mind. There's nothing I can do besides very carefully, not to make hgim worry, to give Lucas some advices, and let him go. Period. Everything will be okay, whatever damage that people make will be reversed when Lucas is back, an in the end, this will be a good experience for the both of us, making my little witch more independente (like me...), and the first time away will be over soon.

What impressed me was the intensity of this crisis, the first time I have. I never thought that my "controlled" fears and worries could take me this way affecting my organism. For my well-being and health, I do have to let go, and relax. Phew!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Litha on the corner

Litha is tomorrow, the longest day of the year is on the corner! I love Summertime n Petropolis, because although it's hot lke hell during the day, in the evenings a sweet breeze is always blowing, which make things easier, the opposite in Rio, when evenings are as hot as days and Summer ends up becoming unbearable to stand!

I will probably make it smple as usual. Maybe I'll make a "breakfast picnic" with Lucas outside home in the yard to celebrate the sabbath... Lucas already made this morning a nest for the birds using dried leaves and moss from the ground, surroundning it with stones. I don't think the birds will get close to it, but the intention is there, which is good! It's like an offering to the Air creatures, including the dear fairies, and placing a bit of honey and milk will not hurt.

Lucas wants to make a Greenman mask like the one above, so this is going to be the best, using lots of green leaves, dried leaves, etc. I just can't promise it will look so cool as that one!

As Litha is a great time for healing and protective rituals, I'll surely perform a little one in the evening, after the traditional ritual I always make with Lucas.

I wish you all a great Yule time tomorrow, full of good vibes! And soon, a beautiful Christmas time for my non-pagan friends!

Genomic Revolution

Yesterday I went with Lucas, my older brother Arnaldo and my niece Maria Clara, to visit the Genomic Revolution Exhibiton, that is being held in Quitandinha Hotel in Petropolis. I don't know if yo know about it: this exhibition comes from the 2002's American Museum of Natural History exhibition, and it brings a cultural view about genomics, showing the DNA study as never seen before, the latest researches made, the impact on our everyday life, etc. Lucas loved everyhting, from the rainforest installation with live animals (including a tarantula, arght!), to the interactive games where you can mix fruits and animals' DNA, for instance. Lucas always love science and is naturally curious about it,like any kids, so you can imagine how cool it was to walk around the place watching so many different approaches on the subjectand his reaction!

I was drooling at everything as well, and can't wait to be there again a next time. Simply great. We couldn't take any photos inside, it's forbidden, alas... So the photos here are from the official site. After that, a pizza awaited for us. A super way to spend the Saturday afternoon!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Monochrome Weekly

I'm so behind my favorite memes! I'll try to keep them next year without losing any week!

This was taken by Lucas about one month ago. It's the Eagle statue in front of Petropolis' City Hall, a famous statue, built in 1899 by Heitor Levy. I always loved this, and Lucas always want to stop by and watch it for a while when we go downtown.

For more Mono photos, visit its main page, hosted by Aileni.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

dream Pillow Winner!

Sooooo I'm back! :o)
I'm still coughing a bit, like Lucas, but I'm feling way better! Thanks to my cousin doctor who gave me a very good medicine that sent my pain away. I dont want to feel it again for the next 40 years! Thanks for all the positive & healing vibes sent, you're all awesome!

But enough about me, everybody is interested in the giveway! LOL

Here Lucas is showing al the papers with names carefully folded by himself...

All the names into my witch hat (that came along with the cool halloween kit I won from The Play of Light and Shadow... but this is another story!).

Drums please... Lucas closes his eyes and gets ready to pick up a name!

And he's got it... who's the lucky winner??

Congrats Mother's Moon's Message girl! Please email me so we can start working on your dream pillow!

Thank you everybody who joined this fun with me! Let's see what I can come up with next Sabbath!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Got a bug and giveaway

Hello, world!

Just stopped by to say that I've got Lucas' tonsilitis since Sunday (he's alright now, only still coughing a bit). The first time in all my life! Got a sore throat and a light fever (gods, how painful it is to swallow! It's like swallowing broken glass), but I'm taking good care of myself, taking medicines and all. So I'll pick up the dream pillow giveaway's winner tomorrow, okay? Just need some time to get better. Wish I could post something better than this! I just complaint here the last days! LOL

Kisses and love from us.

Friday, December 11, 2009

I'm so mad right now!

Imagine, my friends, that while I was here posting my mom's honey bread post, the postman arrived, and tereh was a letter for Lucas, from his ex-teacher from Minas.

Luckly I decided opening it before giving it to him. There was a letter from her, very nice, saying the his little friends form Mins wanted, each of them, to send hiom a letter hand-written by themselves. "Oh how sweet!", I thought. Then I started reading each one. Every single letter, with no exception, had it saying "I miss you! I want you to come back to our school!", "please, come study with us again!", and so on. No exception!! What the f...??! I can even try to understand, they're little kids, same age of Lucas, they miss him alright, I believe, but the teacher should know better before sending this letter full of a bunch of manipulative letters for my son!

I made all my best to have him be well adapted here, he's so happy now, loving his school, etc, and this woman sends a letter that could mess up his little mind if I had given it to him to read before having a look!

I just sent her an email, very nice and polite, Thanking for the love, but calling her attention for the fact the she's a professional and should be more careful about what's being sent to Lucas, so that it doesn't bring any unbalance for his great state of mind and spirit concerning a subject that is not forhim to decide and it's already settle between me and my ex..

I'm so pissed off!!! How insensitive! Arght!

Mom's honey bread factory

Mom just finished her bakery time! Every year she bakes lots and lots of her special and secret Honey Bread recipe, to seel for Christmas. I don't even remember when it all started, she says it was around 42 years ago, before I was born!! Ilove the scent, and it's so yummy...

It's amazing how she goes like a little ant, working everyday until all her orders are completed. This year her customers and friends ordered a total of 112 breads! A rcord! we spent yesrterday and today wrapping them up, now just a decorative Santa Claus sticker and a little tree branch will be added. Tomorrow my cool Aunt Sandra (the taxi driver) will take everything to Rio to be given to the respective customers and to get payment. Then mom can happily shop for her Christmas. It's a tradition at home, and although I feel sorry for her hard-work, I know she gets happy to bring all the sweet things she wants to give to us as Christmas gifts. And there's no way to make her change her mind for next year!

Life getting back to track

Sooo... This week was a blargh one. Lucas sick with his tonsilitis, and I sick with my kidney stones. We are both getting better, thank the gods!
Lucas had to take antibiotics, unfortunately! I hate giving it to him, but when I realized that after three days taking homeophaty his throat was getting more inflammated and the fever wouldn't cease, i had to give itup, call the doctor, and buy amoxilin. *sigh* But today he's feeling so much better! Wants to run, to play outside (with the windy weather, no way!), being his old sweet Lucas. And I feel so relieved! No matter how many times he gets sick, I always get all tense and sad inside. Of course I don't show it to him - I'm the brave and confident mom!

As for me, I feel like pregnant again! LOL I go to the bathroom every five minutes. How such tiny stones can give you so much trouble?! I still feel the pain, specially when I walk in the neighbourhood, to the grocery, for instance, but way better than before, Maybe it's psychological. I have another appointment with my doctor in january to show my ultrassound, but we all know what he will say, right? To keep drinking lots of water, to avoid certain food, etc. And I'll obey!

Thank you all for your awesome support and positive words, as always, they mean everything to me! :o)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Little witch in bed again

Lucas' tonsilitis is back. Since Sunday he's feeling bad, and yesterday he spent all the time feverish and with his throat aching. Thankfully my cousin is a doctor and she examined him... voilá, the bad tonsilitis attacking him once again... I'm treating him with homeophathy as usual, and trying to avoid antibiotics to the last case. Last night he woke up sobbing, and when I asked him what was the problem, he only said, "I lost the game!!", and sobbed again. He dreamt that he was playing a soccer game, and lost it, poor sweetie! He's in bed right now, all upset he's losing his final exams at school, but he'll make it next week. I'm keeping him comfortable in bed with his favorite comic magazines and watching his cartoons... I hope this is over soon this time!

Oh and this morning I made the ultrassound, and guess what, 5 stones in my kidney! No surprise I was feeling such pain!! Now I'm with a bottle of water by my side, and nobody is allowed to go to the bathroom! LOL

Well, that's it! I wish everybody a great, healthy week!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

My Yule Giveaway!

So I was wondering what I could giveaway this end of 2009. I imagined it would be fun and nice to give away a dream pillow, like the one above that it is listed on my Etsy shop. It is stuffed with polyfil and three different dried magickal herbs that work wonderfully together, and the hand-embroidery reflects the wish of a good night's sleep.

But to make it more interesting, I'll let the winner choose the felt color, and the hand-embroideries on the pillow. Just think of what you like the most, what you want to bring to your dreams at night, and how kindly you want it to be. We can work together on it, and I'll try to make it the best way to please you!

To have a chance, simply leave a comment here, and just to feed my silly ego, go to my Etsy shop and tell me which item you like best! :o)

Lucas will pick up the lucky winner on December 15th, and I'll take the photos of the picking up process to guarantee it was a loyal one. Good luck!

Eternal updating...

Seems like lately I only update, with no actual new posts. But thing is that life is being gentle enough so far, and ther's not much happening. I'm handcrafting like crazy, Lucas is on his school's final exams, and his vacation will go from December 11st to January 31st. The only "but" in my life right now is my worry about his vacation with his dad. I feel goosebumps with the thought of him spending such a long time alone with my ex's family. I have my reasons to worry. When it gets closer, I'll surely ask all my bloggy witch friends (and non-witchy, of course!!!), to make a positive chain, so he will go and wil be back safe and sound. I know it may sound a bit dramatic (and maybe it is), but after such a good time here adapting himself so well to every new thing in his little life, I don't want to see his positive attitude to be destroyed by negative, depressive environment that I know he will have after the initial days there. Oh well, I'm wandering. But this is one of the resons why Im blogging so little. I'm trying to distract myself from the thought of it, and I try to give them some credit before the vacation begin.

Lately also I'm obssessive about weather. It's incredible how we forget how things work every year just the same way. It's been raining a lot these days, usually in the afternoons (exactly when I go fetch Lucas at school, obviously LOL), but the past two days we couldn't go outside, so heavy the rain became. But I love it. I love the sound and the fury of Nature talking through thunders and lightning, and I love go to sleep listening to the powerful sound of the rain falling outside. Lucas never feared it, following my example, and we love to stay in bed watching the storm trough the window and to guess when the next lightning will show up.

ONe cool thing is that I'll make a giveaway here. I1ll post about it right away, don't miss it!
Hope you all have a great weekend, thread your dreams gently... :o)