Saturday, August 29, 2009

My new ArtFire shop!

Following the example of my awesome artist friend Dawn, from Into the Dawn blog, who also has a cool ArtFire page, I decided adding some of my my handcrafts to the site. ArtFire has the great advantage of not charging to have items posted, so it will double my chances to sell without any extra costs. So now I have a new Carioca Witch shop, besides my Etsy one. Check it out!

Friday, August 28, 2009

New Etsy Stuff for Halloween

Snce I moved to mom's, my mind is full of ideas to get money, from English private lessons (btw, I got my first student.. Guess I already told you guys about that...) to dog walking, and I also created items for my Etsy shop. Lots of keyrings! My niece taught me how to make these cute fabric flowers, and I decided adding a spooky touch, putting a small felt skull in the middle of them, inspired on Holly's first blog Skull Blossom - not the first time she inspires me for my crafts! They ended up really cool, and even my nephew's gothic friends now want one, which is simply great... I also created some big skull keyrings, and just posted them at the shop, let's see if they're "saleable"!
Here are some of them What do you think?

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A day at a time

Hello, friends.
We're facing cold, rainy days and nights here in Petropolis. Nothing new during Winter time... Even under water this town is beautiful.
We're living a day at a time, and I have my mind full of things to decide and to run after. On Monday I went to a school close to home, the same where my sisters , as well as my two nephews and one niece studied, to talk to the principal about  giving Lucas a monthly discount or a scholarship. It's a catholic school, but with non-catholic teachers and a good curriculum... I sniff at it, but in my case, I can't choose too much. This school is a good one, with a good price and close to home, and as I don't want to put Lucas at a public school, it will have to be the one. Alas. I have to fill in a questionaire about my financial condition, to hand-write a letter explainig why I need the scholarship so the school's social worker can evaluate my case and see what they can give me. Fingers crossed, I need the best discount possible! I know the help Rodrigo will give is little, and I simply can't demand more, because I know their situation (which was ours so little tie before) is not good, so I need to go after what I need here without expectations and without depending on others.
One good thing is that I already have one student to teach English next month. It's a friend's 11-year-old son, and we'll start lessons in the beginning of September. It's a start! :o)
I have a migraine this morning, grrrr... But nothing too bad, just the usual one, already took some medicine - blame on the chocolate cake I ate last night on my nephew's b-day - my late sister's son, he didn't want a party, just the cake without Happy Birthday song. We respected his will, and had a calm family reunion between mom, me, Lucas, my other nephew Davi and Sonia, mom's old friend. I ate two slices of that delicious cake, and now I'm paying the price... no regrets, though... : p
So, things are slowly going back to tracks. I still have a very long road to walk until feeling my life stablished agian, but at least I'm in motion.
Hope everybody have a great day, see you soon.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

At mom's

Hello from Petropolis. Lucas and I made a good bus trip, although I had a huge migraine crisis while on the road. Nothing new, it was obviously pre-menstrual and post-stress... But as soon as I got home I took my medicine, went to bed, and in three hours I was myself again.
It's a relieve to be here, surrounded by my family's love. Lucas is amazingly dealing well with it all, only wanting details about our new life and his new school-to-be - and I give him the answers he deserves, I need to be fair with him. Of course he's still sad, missing his father, but it must be simpler now in his mind,m once we're already in a different place, because he hasn't mentioned his name so far. He talked to him by phone, and didn't, apparently, get worse after the talk. This really make me feel better... More and more I see I took the right decision, and there is no return to the life I had. It really seems like another life, in another time & space, as if it was another person instead of me. Does it make any sense?  
Now I'm all focused in starting to take a new direction in my life, spreading ads as an private English teacher, making new handcrafts for the local craft stores and my Etsy shop (mom got new colored felts, so I have ideas for Halloween), and I even want to start dog-walking here. Anything to get money and raise my little witch as I must, find a little house for us.. It's a matter of time...
One good practical thing is that here I canbe online more often, osmething so hard the last months, you know. Connected to the world again.
So far, we had long walks around, enjoying the beautiful surroundings, but the weather here is chiiiiiiili! Holly, the cold weather is haunting me! :o)
I wish everybody a great weekend, thanks everybody for the amazing support.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wish me luck

We're leaving tomorrow at noon. In the end I just couldn't stay until the end of the month, to muchh depression and sadness in the house to stand. Maybe it will take me some time to be ok to be online again, bear with me.
At least Rodrigo recognized - finally - that he needs to change his behaviour disorder with the help of a behavior re-education therapist, as we call it here. He's totally down for us leaving, and it breaks my heart to see him so depressed and regretting, but I need to be strong now. Maybe this was the shake he needed after all these years thinking he could say whatever came to his mind when angry. I just don't want to think right now about it, there's already so much to think about concerning Lucas. I went to his school earlier today to say goodbye to the staff, and I had tears in my eyes all the time. I'm really so sorry for taking Lucas from that marvelous school, so well adapted he is, after those hard weeks in the beginning. But I need to breath deeply and think that he will readapt himself again, with my love and support. I'm so afraid of messing his mind with all this change from a place he really loves, school, home, pets. I'm afraid he will be a sad child longing back to his home. Wish I could lay down and cry.

Thank you all for your wonderful words of support, I feel warm inside knowing you're all out there sending me good vibes.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Time to change

I spent some minutes here looking at the blank page without knowing where to start, and without the energy to start to write. Thing is that Rodrigo and I are definitely breaking up. I'm totally drained inside myself. We had another fight on Saturday over nothing. First because I forgot throwing the old can of cooked beans that were on the fridge away, and then because the meat wasn't ready on time for his lunchtime (although on Sats he doesn't "work", so there's no specific time to eat, and it was noon yet, so I relaxed about it, without knowing it would be something so hard). Silly things that would never make a person to loose his temper. Unfortunately he lost his, and in front of our son. Summoning up, it's time to change this. I don't want to lose the bit of respect I still feel for him, and so does Lucas, so there's no other alternative but leaving. I'm really really tired of his tantrums, I never know when the next one will come. When calm, he's even a good person, but when nervous, he simply overreact, there's no criteria, anything is a reason to an explosion.
I know I'm not perfect, I still have a long way to learn in life, but I don't think we have to live like this. No one deserve this kind of life, specially Lucas, who witnesses everything lately, for my interior despair. So, for our mental, emotional health, I took the hardest decision, leaving with Lucas to Petropolis by the end of the month (so Lucas can at least finish his school semester, I'll try to stay till then, just don't know ifit will be bearable). I'm so sorry that it had to end this way, after watching this beautiful house being built, with so much in mind and heart, thinking things would be fine, but this wasn't the first time that we have this kind of problem, in Rio we weren't 100% ever. Postponing this decision longer would be a bad idea. We all need a healthy environment to live, and I do need to feel better about myself, notthe trash he makes me feel when he says the bad words as if everything I do is worng. I know that in ten years I worked outside full-time, so the daily routine of a house wasn't so easy to follow, at least according to his starndards, but I was doing my best, and I bet I would be perfect in due time, if time was allowed to me.
Since Saturday, I have long talks with Lucas, because he's asking me all the time about our situation, and this morning we talked again, more deeply, and although sad enough, he understands why we're going to grandma's home. I'm doing everything to make this a bit easy to him, it is already so hard for his little heart to accept being away from everything he learned to love, and from his dad, but he's such a special brave little boy, trying to see the best out of it. I just came from his school to talk to his teacher (wonderful woman), and also to the school psychologist, so they are aware we'll leave sometime, and to keep an eye on Lucas concerning his behaviour while we're still here. They are great people, and assured me to take good care of him, and as this is the Family week (all scholl in this city are participating of this, kinda seminary about families in general and their importance - what a coincidence, yes?), they'll make sure to explain that there are several types of family, etc, so he won't feel so different.
I'm sorry for throwing all this here, but I nned to vent. Keep us in your minds this week, we need the best energy possible.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A warm giveaway

As today I had to come downtown again for some bank payments, of course I had to stop by a bit and relax in front of the computer. And while here I went to Mrs. B' s page, only to find out she's with another great giveaway to show, the Ug Boots giveaway! It's the first time I hear about these boots, but after taking a look, I fell in love with them for the comfort they seem to offer. Living now in a place where Winter IS chilli (as you're bored often reading about here...), I wouldn't mind winning one pair!

The best is that Mrs. B. is also offering crazy and generous extra entries for the ones who join this! Just take a look and cross your fingers too!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Some positive things I made these days:

I got enrolled (hmm... wrong expression?) to the local handcrafters' store, paying a symbolic monthly tax of R$ 3. So now I can put my handcrafts in the store and luckly sell them. Meaning I'll have to make things that fit the town spirit, meaning I'll try to adapt my pagan stuff to it. Meaning I'll make my witches, prim cats and goddesses anyway, and see how people react the them. Teenagers here love these things, and seem to love buying them to "face the older crowd". Beautiful...
I (finally) started walking every afternoon, from my house to the town entrance, almost 2 km away. For someone who is ashamely sedentary since pregnant, it's a huge start!
I (finally) started planting the seeds for my elemental garden. Rosemary, mint, chamomile, basil are under the ground now.
Just a few steps, but that make a big impact in my mood, somwting I do need right now...

A question

Lucas made me a question last night while watching Harry Potter for the zillionth time: "Mom, have you noticed that there is no Wiccan movie to watch?". I would love to have suggestions of movies with a Wiccan/pagan touch, do you know any, people? I remember watching that molvie with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman (forgot the title), so far, the only one with this witchy thing. Just let me know!

Awesome surprise

Last week, two days before hisbirthday, Lucas got a gift that made him jump up and down: a set of brand-new marbles, his first one, that Boho Mom sent!

He loved them as if they were made out of gold! LOL He couldn't get enough of admiring each of them, commenting how they looked like mini-planets...

He immeditaly changed his clothes and went outside, demanding dad to teach him how to play!

Thank you. Boho, this was one of the sweetest surprises we had here! And the cutest little bell is ready to be used next New Moon ritual! :o) You're lovely!

Aaaahhh... Vacations with grandma...

Lucas' 2 weeks of vacations were super, just because grandma was here! He loves her funny way, always laughing at his silly cute things, and always ready to play. For me, it was a delight to have my mother with me for almost twenty days, talking about everything, showing her our surroundings, simply being. She's that kind of person who lifts your spirit up high, and most important, shemade me remember who I really am.
We went around with Rodrigo riding the Lacraia...

She even took care of some coffee beans! LOL :

We had gorgeous sunny days and she could sunbathe in our yard, one of her little joys...

... And she even tried to play Playstation with Lucas! LOL

Playing with Ringo...
Happy to be with us...
Mom was worried about our situation, and made sure I have a place to go in case the worst happens. I still believe things will get better (and so does she, btw), but it's wonderfuil to have her support and to know I'm not alone.
It was fun to listen to her stories about the old days when she also lived in a farm (a huge one!) when got married with dad. It was great to share little "secrets" with her, to watch the afternoon and night soap-operas, commenting the scenes (actually I never watch them, as Lucas wisely pointed out all the time, intrigued, LOL), but she loves watching them and I wouldn't let her lose any was fun, under her hilarious point of view). It was yummy to have her making her minute bread recipes and my favorite-of-all-times chicken soup almost everyday. It was like getting back to the time when I was younger. Her presence these days refreshed my soul and my heart. It's good to know she's around!
She's wise, fun, sweet, sharp-minded... I'll miss her now, but I'll treasure these moments forever...

Lucas' B-Day

Good Monday, everybody!
First of all, thank you all for your kind, sweet and supportive words about my recent problems at home... Things are still messy, but I believe that after a good talk this week, we can get back to the tracks, let's see... All I know is that I want back the man I used to live with for ten years before moving...
But let's go to what matters... Lucas's b-day photos! That was a great day. He woke up at 6am, and got all happy with the mosaico toy, made out of recicled wood pieces, that he was dying to have - stupid me forgot to take a photo of it... I spent the previous day making the cake: two layers of chocolate cake and one of carrot cake in the middle (requested by the b-day boy!). That was a challenge to me, because I have never made something this big (for my standards...). Each recipe was double, and I was all worried that the layers would fall when mounted. But no! Everything turned out really tasty (well, at least, nobody went to the bathroom during the party after eating it... LOL). Mom made the filling with condensed milk and plum, delicious... She also made all the little round chocolate candies that are a must in any Brazilian kid's party (do you guys have it there?). Ben 10 was all around, and I got my little witch sleeping late happy and older...
Below with my mom, can you believe she's 76? :o)
Now with Rodrigo's parents too, and mom:
Ready to blow the candles...
Family photo:

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

So many things...

Hello, friends! It's been a time since I last posted, I know... I won't bother you with my conexion problems, though, you already know about it very well.
My mother arrived almost two weeks ago, sooooooooo good!!!! I could hardly wait for her to be here, and now she'll leave next Friday. I enjoyed her great humor and inconditional love & company, we took lots of photos and she fell in love with this place, we walked around enjoying the beautiful sunny/cold days. Lucas is all the time after her, talking about his life and teaching her about how things work in this rural area, She can't stop laughing with his funny statements.
We decided making Lucas' birthday party at home, after all. It would be too expensive to make it at his school, so we made something simpler here, and Lucas loved it anyway, that's what matters. I made and decorated the cake myself, all nervous, because it was the first time I'd make something so big, but in the end everybody loved it, and I relaxed... As soon as I can I'll post all the photos. Lucas got great toys and was a little gentleman proudly helping me to give the cake slices.
The sad note is that things are not good between me and Rodrigo. I hesitated talking about it here, making it public, but I'd feel guilty hiding it from friends, at the same time. Thing is that he changed so much since we moved I can hardly recognize him. He demands so much from me concerning the house, criticizing me for every little detail everday, a hell. Even mom noticed it and is astonshed with it. When Lucas is back to school next week, I'll have a serious and definite talk. I just can't live this way for the rest of my life.
Anyway, as soon as I can I'll be back. Hope you enjoy the week, thanks for all the sweet comments!