Lucas' trip & New Year's Eve

I survived (so far...)! :o)

Yesterday morning Rodrigo arrived around 10am due to the rain to take Lucas(it's been raining cats and dogs every afternoon, incredible storms that I recorded with my camera for later post, beautiful). He came with a taxi driver we know, and brought my pre-historic computer, my witchy books (how I missed Starhawk and Louis Bourne!), my non-wotchy books (my Stephen Kings!!), baby Lucas' photo albums (I went through tehm all with my mom and my brother!), some of my favorite decorative stuff like Turtle's beautiful candle holders. Lucas was so excited to see his dad after four months! Rodrigo was very nice with all of us, and very emotional when hold Lucas again in his arms. He had his hair cut, which makes him look younger and healthier. He treated me very kindly, the opposite of the last months we were together. This is good, maybe he's learning his lesson well for his future relationships.

My little witch showed him all his brand-new toys Santa brought, and also the fishes. It was funny to watch him so excited!

Everything was okay. They left half-an-hour later, Lucas on the back seat playing with his Ben 10 game. I made a little felt doll with lots of protective signs on its body and my perfume to carry on his bag, just by chance... My heart was so heavy and small after he left, but I know this is part of the process, we need to share, I need to let go, and so on.

I had to go downtown for some errands, and this way my mind could get used a little bit to his absence. But OF COURSE, a migraine exploded, NOT for my surprise... When I got home I took my Ormigren and rested for a couple of hours until it was gone. It was when I got up to the silence in the house, that struck me, and I cried a river at the kitchen, missing my little boy so much. After that, I felt better, and breathed again more easily, and I could called them to see if the trip was alright. Lucas talked to me all happy and said he loves me. Sweet!

Today I'm really feeling better. It's incredible how weird it is not to listen to his voice, his laughing, not to take care of him. It's like losing an arm. Thank the gods is only for one month. Seems like that's how things must be so I can once again grow up and mature, since nothing happens by chance. All I do is to think that he will be fine, they will take good care of him, he will have lots of fun, and by the end of January, he will be back, full of fun stories about his "rural adventures".

People, thank you so, so much for your awesome words, you can't imagine how wonderful it was to me to read them all, how they made me feel better. My family is here with me with all their support, of course, they're amazing, but my friends' support is equally important and vital to me, this dramatic Brazilian mom. And Boho, thank you so much for the spell, I started it last night, and it made me feel good having something witchy to do everyday, I'll keep it to the end.

Tonight I'm going with my mother to Araruama, a beach town (or better, a lagoon town), to spend the New year's holidays at her cousins' house. A lovely couple that I do love since I was a little girl. It will be great to be there, sunbathing until getting really tanned, and relaxing at a beautiful place. I wasn't feeling like going, but last night I decided it would be better to go than staying at home with nothing to do. At least there I can relax by the pool, take long walks by the lagoon, and enjoying their company. Time will pass faster this way. I'll be back around January 4th or 5th. As there's no Internet at the place (but there are cyber cafes, maybe I'll be offline, for your relief! :o)

I wish everybody a wonderful end of the year, wishing you all the best energy you all wished for me and Lucas. You're all in my heart, and I do hope we can keep our friendship next year. Kisses and love from me to you.