Tuesday, May 27, 2008

10 Ways to Piss off a Pagan

1. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.

2. Rearrange their altar so it will look neat.

3. Blow out their altar candle if it is still day light.

4. Pick up their gems for a closer look.

5. Sharpen their dull blackhandled knife.

6. Witness to them about the "true religion".

7. Untie the knots in their cord.

8. Take hold of their jewelry for a closer look.

9. Play card games with their Tarot cards.

10. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers.

I found this at the Cafepress, and it's hilarious. I can relate to some of these... And you?

4 comentários:

Crunchy Green Mom - Suzanne said...

Ha... Yes.
I can't imagine someone coming in and touching either of my altars!

I would be infuriated. And the satan worship is the one I hear the most! VERY silly!

Those are funny though!

Dragonstar said...

Not to mention the one about eating/abusing children! As if we could ever harm our future!

Suzie Ridler said...

Oh the satan worshipping one is so annoying isn't it? Considering we don't believe in the idea of satan which to most people is unthinkable, it's very frustrating! Perhaps they would find that even more constroversional, LOL.

Anonymous said...

I have a list that's for the slightly more gothy witches of stereotyping:

top ten ways to annoy a witch

1. borrow their eyeliner, and not return it.
2. snicker when a chunky witch goes skyclad
3.step into their circle and ask them what their doing.
4.ask them if they can wiggle their nose like bewitched.
5.Put on your best Judy Garland voice and ask"are you a good witch or a bad witch?"
6.Throw water on them and expect them to melt
7. Take them to church.
8. Turn their pentagram upside down.
9. Cast a cirle deosil.
10. Put fire wood around the maypole.

And I also have this:

You know your a pagan if:

1) When you are sworn into court, you bring your own grimoire.

2) You've been seen talking to cats. They talk back and you understand what they are saying.

3) When asked if you believe in God, you ask, "Which one?"

4) You know what "widdershins" means and what happens when you cast a circle that way.

5) You have an entire spice cabinet and you don't cook.
(You know that laurel and bay leaves are the same thing.)

6) You have a frequent buyer card at the local antique bookstore.

7) You think Mercedes Lackey should be a cultural icon.

8) You know there are exceptions to the law of physics. You've caused them.

9) The first things your guests say is "My, That's a nice...altar...you have there."

10) On Halloween, you yell "Happy New Year!" at passers-by.

11) You know that Christmas trees were originally Pagan symbols.That's why you bought one.

12) You have friends who say they are elves and you believe them.

13) You commit blasphemy in the plural.

14) Upon dying, your first thought is, "Damn it, not AGAIN."

15) When you say "Mother Nature," you don't mean it in a anthropomorphic way.

16) Gaia is NOT the lady on Captain Planet.

17) You think The Mists of Avalon should be a religious text.

18) In religion 101, you were disappointed because they didn't cover YOUR gods.

19) You know there is a right way and a wrong way to draw a pentacle. You CAN explain the difference.

20) You've spent the last year and a half looking for a familiar.

21) You talk to trees and they talk back.

22) You know dragons and fairies exist. You've seen them.

23) Painting yourself blue, spiking your hair, and dancing naked around a bonfire sounds like great fun.

24) You've seen "The Craft." You know they were making stuff up in "The Craft."
...You have explained this to other people.
...You can do it better than they did in "The Craft."

25) You understand the sybolism behind a maypole.

26) You've ever ended a phone call with "so mote it be."

27) Your children go around telling people that "The Goddess loves you." (she does you know)

28) You think that "Scott Cunningham" is a household name...

29) You feel that there is no such thing as having too many cats...

30) The emergency calls you get at work are your family wanting to know the whereabouts of the extra candles, incense or other misc. ritual items.

31) Someone asks you what you are doing wandering around in the woods wearing a robe, and you answer cheerfully: "I'm in church!"

32) Friends give you candles and incense as a gift.

33) There are more jars of strange smelling plants in your cupboards than there are cereal boxes.

34) You find yourself making corn dollies in the checkout line
at the local grocery store.

35) You start answering the phone with "Merry Meet".

36) When cleaning house you have to specify. "Where is the broom? No, not that broom, where is the one to clean the floor with?"

37) You're reading this page. You understand what it's talking about.

38) You have more to add.

Stars Above,
~Celestial Rose. (sorry for such a long comment)