In the little things

I've been through the hardest time in my life, as I posted earlier, with my older sister's near death. She's got a few days left, and it's extremely hard to deal with this pain, for all of us in the family who love her so much. Theorically I know it's part of the cyle of life, that every soul has a specific time in Earth. But goes tell my heart about it. It's broken, bleeding, crying, shouting in pain.

Lucas knows about it, the little I tell him when he asks me his piercing questions, but I try not to go too deep, he' only four and half. What I mean here is that is absolutely amazing how comforting a child is, without noticing. One of the best things these days is when I'm with my son (f course, my hubby is my rock, but this isn't the point). When I get home after a day of hard working, and having worsening news coming every hour about my sister's condition, it's a blessing to see his smile and to feel his tiny arms holding me tight.

Then he comes and say that he could see the moon in the late afternoon, and that it was waning. Just afterwards, he pushes my hand to show me the surprise he and his daddy made for me: new vases with new herbs at our little garden. The mint is on a larger pot, there's the scent of watered leaves in the air, and I feel my heart slow down a bit.

Of course, he wants to play hide-and-seek in our little apartment, where all hiding places are already known, but how fun it is for him trying to find me again or to hide from me under the bed, again! He laughs in pure joy. And I laugh, too.

These are little things that make me go ahead everyday, even now that clouds are as if permanently over my heart.

*Image: Lucas last Ostara, at the little wood next our home we go almost every day.