Dedê

On April 27th, 2008, as some of you know, my oldest sweet sister Mª Evangelina, known by everyone as Dedê, died from brain cancer at the age of 53, after a battle that lasted a few months but seemed like forever. She moved from Roraima - Brazil's far north state - to Rio for treatment in November 12nd, 2007, and died five months later. I don't wish this to my enemy if I had one all the process she's been through. To watch one of the most important people of my life suffering such intense, daily pain was the worst. When she died it was a relief to me, because she was finally in peace - I couldn't stand any longer to watch her becoming so weak and full of pain everyday. Her awful illness and death was devastating to all of us, but mom had the deepest scar, only truly relieved after Lucas' amazing dream.

Sometimes I still find unreal that she's no longer here, she who was like a second mother - as if my awesome mom was not enough! She was that oldest sister that was an example for me, always with a sweet word when I was a child, and a wise word when I was a teen dealing with the new world of being a young girl full of love and despair like all teens. She was always there for me, always. That's why it's so hard - I said earlier that I feel like being divided in two, the normal one who laughs and enjoys living, and the other one who mourns and misses her. But, as I use to say, I feel deeply honoured for having her in my life, for sharing these years of sisterhood with mutual deep love, kindness and support. I'll lit my candle for her, and I do know that her soul is being healed from her pains, and she's becoming a bright light. Someday we will meet again.