Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wish me luck

We're leaving tomorrow at noon. In the end I just couldn't stay until the end of the month, to muchh depression and sadness in the house to stand. Maybe it will take me some time to be ok to be online again, bear with me.
At least Rodrigo recognized - finally - that he needs to change his behaviour disorder with the help of a behavior re-education therapist, as we call it here. He's totally down for us leaving, and it breaks my heart to see him so depressed and regretting, but I need to be strong now. Maybe this was the shake he needed after all these years thinking he could say whatever came to his mind when angry. I just don't want to think right now about it, there's already so much to think about concerning Lucas. I went to his school earlier today to say goodbye to the staff, and I had tears in my eyes all the time. I'm really so sorry for taking Lucas from that marvelous school, so well adapted he is, after those hard weeks in the beginning. But I need to breath deeply and think that he will readapt himself again, with my love and support. I'm so afraid of messing his mind with all this change from a place he really loves, school, home, pets. I'm afraid he will be a sad child longing back to his home. Wish I could lay down and cry.

Thank you all for your wonderful words of support, I feel warm inside knowing you're all out there sending me good vibes.

14 comentários:

Tori said...

-Hugs- Nydia! Good luck. We're all wishing you well. <3

MoonsLark said...

I know its hard, I've been there. I too left a marriage after 2 years because my husband controlled and treated me badly... and I left with 2 little kids and no idea what I could do on my own. It's SO hard, and it will be... but sometimes it needs to be done. You are strong and you can be strong for your family.
My kids were so sad and my ex fought with me all the time, so when we moved out on him we could finally heal. My marriage ended... but maybe you can heal your relationship.

Sometimes a break works wonders and things will be better in the end...

Marlyn said...

Nydia...

I am glad to hear that Rodrigo realizes he needs help. That is a step in the right direction for him regardless of the outcome between you two. If he seeks counseling from a professional and takes their advice to heart, it will only benefit him.

You are doing the right thing by taking time away from the immediate situation. It is not good to live in constant chaos and on edge not knowing if he will lose his temper. It is best for Lucas not to see that either.

You are strong and I know you will make it through this. Hang in there! You know your blogging friends are always here for you!

Good luck, take care, you will be in my thoughts.

Marlyn

Mama Kelly of 2 Witches Blog said...

I can only hope that this is the beginning of brighter days for all of you.

Blessings!!

greekwitch said...

Everything is going to be okay. Have faith! You are so strong! Whenever you need to talk i am here for you. Blessings.

Janet said...

I wish you luck and strength and support from all who love you. It may be difficult right now but you can't stay in a relationship that is harming you and Lucas. I'm so proud of you for being strong and making the decision to leave. I'll keep you and Lucas in my thoughts each day and send nothing but goodness to you both.

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Oh Nydia, it's all so sad but don't think of it as an ending, but a new beginning in your life and Lucas's too. And for Rodrigo. A new way of relating to each other, a new home for you and Lucas, a clearer path, something I'm sure is good for your mom (I know she is sad for your marriage trouble, but she will undoubtedly be so happy to have you and Lucas with her), brighter days ahead. Post when you can, my dear.

Poopsie aka Blue said...

Dear Nydia!

As I've not blogged for several days am late coming to your sad news re you & Rodrigo.
My heart bleeds for you - you have made such a brave but very wise decision - as an unhappy marriage is no place for children, I know from my own bitter experience.

I hope you & Lucas will be happier now & adjust to another new start.
PLease know that I'm thinking of you.

Love & hugs to you both
Blue

Dragonstar said...

Oh Nydia love, how unhappy you must all be! Have faith that things will work out, however bad they may seem right now. Our hearts go with you.

Aileni said...

We shall think of you, Nydia. I have been a bit absent lately with one thing and another, nothing really bad. Just preoccupied.
But I shall look forward keenly to hearing from you.
May you and Lucas find peace and security.
Blessings to you both.

mrsb said...

Nydia,
Oh my gosh. I don't know how I missed your last post, so I'm just catching up on this today. I am so very, very sorry that it's come to this. Of course you need to take care of yourself and Lucas first - even when that makes for the very tough decisions.

I'm praying for you all, that this works out in the best way for everyone, and that Lucas and you can find peace and happiness no matter the eventual outcome.

If you need anything, or to vent or whatever, please email me! I'm here for you in any way I can be!

((hugs))

Bohemian Single Mom said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you Nydia.
You're right - maybe your husband needs to see the consequences of his words right before his eyes. I think it's wonderful that he's going to counselling. It shows he loves you and wants to make things work. But I completely understand you have to do what's best for you & Lucas.
Don't worry about Lucas. Kids are very resilient, especially when they are loved as much as Lucas is.
(((hugs, deep breaths & peace)))

Patty said...

I am so happy you got to your mom's house. You are in my thoughts

Dani said...

Well if it helps, my brother was even older than Lucas when my parents split and he turned out just fine. Lucas will be even better because you are taking the time to explain things so he can understand. Lucas will be better for it. He will learn to have respect for his woman in the future. We all love you!