Monday, April 27, 2009

One year


I'm trying to keep a good, healthy state of mind about this, so I keep talking about my house-to-be, my witchy son and stuff. But today is the first anniversary of my oldest sister's death.


I think that nothing I say here will really be enough to describe the terrible months we all went through as we watched, with impotent hands, while she was so ill with her brain cancer. It was devastating for us, specially my mother, and it definitely changed us all. I only thank we have this insane sense of humor that keeps us on the sane side of life (maybe those who are like us will understand what I mean). And I remember the wonderful, supportive words of care I got here from my blogger friends, something that hepeld me a lot.


I keep wondering... in one year of living in another dimension, evolving, getting purer/brighter, how my sister's spirit is right now. I only know that I miss her everyday, but when a date like this comes, feels like we get the hit with a stronger hand. Coincidently (as if there was such thing), in a few days I'll be celebrating Samhain.
Wherever she is, I hope she's in peace, and surrounded by a beautiful light.

13 comentários:

Suzie the Foodie said...

Oh Nydia, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a sibling to brain cancer too, although I was very young when it happened I witness my entire family's pain over this loss. I hope your heart heals and that she is watching over you now.

~Just me again~ said...

I'm so sorry for your loss too. I am positive she is in peace, surrounded by a beautiful light and right close by you and your loved ones.

mrsb said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this sad anniversary.

((hugs))

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

I know, Nydia, the pain comes in waves, some worse than others, sometimes like a real wave it can almost swamp you, it recedes but you know, it's always there, I will never stop missing my brothers and family and friends who have died, I don't want to stop missing them, actually...your sister sure was pretty, my dear, such a bright and lively face. I don't know if it will be any comfort to you, but I have seen one of my brothers 3 times since his death, I have my fingers crossed that he will drop by again...although the first time it scared me so bad I thought about having myself committed to the mental hospital, but it was real, he really did come visit, what some would call his "ghost" I guess but that doesn't at all describe it, it was him exactly...

Mama Kelly said...

Loving thoughts are with you during this difficult time. I compare the loss of a loved one to losing a limb ... eventually you learn how to live to adapt to only having one leg or arm just as you eventually adapt to the lost friend/relative .... but you always wish for things to be back the way they were, the pain never truly leaves.

Tori said...

My thoughts are with you. I can't even imagine the sadness. Hugs.

Dani said...

Oh Nydia, I'm so sorry that you lost your sister and in such a way. It's a cliche but she really is always with you. Spend sometime outside tonight, or any night and have a good talk with her. Our thoughts are all with you. Beijos

Patty said...

I am thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs

Dragonstar said...

It's so hard. The one thing you must hang on to is that she is out of pain and not suffering any more. One day you will meet again.
Huge hugs for you love!

intothedawn said...

Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for you. I remember how painful it was for your whole family when it happened... Peace and comfort to you, my friend.

Angela said...

Hugs and lots of love to you and your family!

Bohemian Single Mom said...

Sending you warm hugs of peace.
What a beautiful picture of your sister. It's so devastating when we lose someone to that wretched disease.

Enjoy Samhain...we just celebrated Beltane!

Serena said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and pain, Nydia.