Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Seeing gold where gold is.

Soooo recently Amanda Palmer was criticized as not being a real feminist for showing public displays of affection towards her man. They said, "If you happen to be an internationally adored cabaret artist, is probably not to coo and gaze adoringly at your bestselling fantasy author husband for two hours in public". You can read her awesome response to this piece of ridiculous call-out hereI so relate to her post, and I applaud every single word she wrote.

I obviously believe in and demand equal rights for women and men - socially, sexually, politically, professionally, etc., the same way I support equal rights for everybody, socially, sexually, politically, professionally, etc., because these are human rights, plain and simple.

But I don't feel like I'm less of a woman or as if I don’t have a life just because I openly (and often) talk about the man I love. I'm not misandristic, which is what their "You're not a real feminist if you..." rant smells like. Because it's okay to talk and write about how bad and cruel some men really are, but when, like me, you have an amazing guy in your life, who loves, supports, admires and makes you feel wonderful, you should act as if it's nothing?

You don't need to have someone to have a happy, complete life. But when by one of these incredible twists of fate, among billions of people, you stumble upon an incredible person who becomes an important part of your life and you feel this immense love for them, and who makes you feel like the most beautiful and smartest person in the world, of course you can adoringly gaze at them in public, if you want to, literally and metaphorically.

I'm pretty sure there are some eyes-rolling every time I post another ("... there she goes again...") photo of Tim and I on my very active "Decaturian Delight" Facebook album. But I love doing so. I don't hide my feelings nor am I shy about them. I wish all men were with their women the way Tim is with me. Hell, I wish everybody was like him, period. He suffers with severe depression, which makes life awfully hard for him, but it doesn't prevent him from being a fun, witty, smart and brilliant man.

As many of you know, in January I visited him in Decatur and it was a nightmare for my health, when I had a kidney/bladder infection (with a night at hospital with him) and spent the whole month poisoned by Levaquin, with all the terrible side effects you can imagine that debilitated me to the point of feeling like a poor miserable mouse. So that's when someone shows their true colors. He was seeing me at my worst: often helplessly crying, physically weak to the bones, disoriented, half-walking, half-dragging myself from room to room, throwing up my guts, unfocused - in a nutshell, ultra sick like I've never been before. And how did he behave and treat me 24 hours a day, seven days of those (very long) weeks? With love pouring through his eyes. Never impatient, never a harsh word. Always with a smile for me, always with my hand in his, always with his arms around me to sleep. Always sweet, fun, loving and caring. All the time. Because that's who he is, and that's how he always treated me since we first met. And that's how every person should treat their loved ones.

So, roll your eyes if you must, or enjoy the joy with me, because yes, I do value the man I love, I brag about him, and I do think life is too damn short to save my PDAs for special occasions.

5 comentários:

Vickie said...

I have the same relationship with my Jimmy and BOTH of us are passionate about equal rights for everyone. I suppose those who complain about the loving gazes and PDA's are so lonely in their own personal life they want everyone else to feel bad.

Keep loving your Tim, keep posting those pictures and to hell with those who roll their eyes and say anything negative.

Tim Byrd said...

If we can offend people by showing our affection toward each other, I'm happy to be able to offend them.

Thanks for the loving tribute, baby.

Nydia said...

I agree, Vickie!

Nydia said...

I guess we are highly offensive together for some people, lol

And you're very welcome, sweetheart... *beijos*

Anne said...

I'm a strong and powerful woman, who loves her husband. He's my partner, and I will never be ashamed to be affectionate with the person I love.

Well said!

And I hope you're feeling better.