Monday, May 4, 2009

Thank you

A big THANKYOU for all the sweet words you friends sent me on Dedê's death anniversary - it means a lot to me, like a worldwide size blanket around me. You're all right, I know, I only find it hard to get used to her physical absence, but I'm sure shes somewhere, going forward, and definitely sending me her bubble of light to surround me and my fanily. And yes, it's like losing an arm or a leg, I do need more time - maybe my lifetime - to adapt myself in living with only one part of my emotional body instead of two. And Holly, how wonderful it would be f she decided visiting me! I would love it. Just a few days after her death I had a vivid dream where she told me she was ok, although still a bit restless. And Lucas had THAT dream that changed my mother's state of mind for better. So I'm kind of ok, just missing her a lot.
My Samhaim was very simple and cool. I simply went alone at sunset to the back of our so-soon-new-house-to-be while Rodrigo went fecthing Lucas back from school, and lit a purple candle on the ground, protecting it from the wind with bricks. I sat on the ground too and stayed there, thinking about my sister, my father, and my grandparents, who are all gone. I thanked the privilege of being part of their lives, and also thanked for the year that had just finished, and the new year that was just begining, asking for strenght to carry on. It was good to stay there in silence, looking up the sky to the thin moon that was up. I felt good and in peace with this part of myself.
I hope you had a beautiful Beltane, and those who don1't follow the Old Path, that you had a great weekend!

2 comentários:

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Time is very healing and I think rituals help alot. I'm big on putting flowers on graves and just sitting in the cemetery, thinking, smoking my corncob pipe and conversing with the departed. Very peaceful.

Tori said...

I'm glad your simple Samhain was good. Beltane was good here.